Okay, I’ll just state right off the bat that I believe everyone does or can have more than one passion. While you’ll be using one thought process here, leave the door open to possibilities. You may find you have more interests than you thought, and that some of them may even overlap.
So, what would you be really excited about someone asking you to do? If someone came up to you and said, “Hey, I’d like you to do this for me,” and you were thrilled and couldn’t wait to start, what did they just ask you to do?
On the flip side, you might be very skilled at something, but if you cringe at the thought of someone asking you to do it, maybe it’s not your passion.
And this is usually a feeling that will last a long time. We all go through phases where we don’t love what we used to love or we’re overworked or we’re tired for other reasons, like stress in your personal life or health issues. Those are the times you need to not give up on what you used to love, and you need to power through the dry spell, because it will come (applies to marriages, too! ;)). Once you’re on the other side, you’ll be thankful you kept on. You’re more likely to regret giving up than not giving up, and the former isn’t as easy to change.
But if you’ve been feeling like this for a long time, especially several years, it’s good to take a step back and reevaluate. Why did you get into this in the first place? Simply because you’re good at it? Because someone else said you were good at it? Are you trying to meet someone’s expectations or trying not to disappoint someone (fear should never be a motivator)? Is it something you realized you could make money on, even if you don’t love it? Do you not want to give up that extra income, and you’re too scared to let it go and pursue your real passion? Was it just something new you wanted to try and you were never too sure about it, but now that you made the investment, it seems foolish to give it up? Did someone tell you you couldn’t do what you were passionate about, so you looked for something more “practical”? These are all understandable reasons, and sometimes your financial situation can force you to make some tough decisions. You should never decide on a whim to give something up, especially if it puts into peril your ability to pay your bills, keep your house, and feed your family. Usually, passion-pursuing is something that can be started on the side. However, if it’s a dream you haven’t stopped thinking about for years, and you’re certain you CAN do it and you CAN make money off of it, even if it’s hard at first, sometimes you have to take the risk. And it MIGHT NOT work out, which no one ever wants to hear. Does that mean it’s the wrong decision? Not necessarily, but I also don’t believe things can always be seen in black and white.
But that all leads me back to my first question: What would you be really excited about someone asking you to do? Or what would you really dread someone asking you to do? I am seriously skilled at editing. I find mistakes everywhere, which can be a bit distracting. That said, the thought of someone asking me to edit their project makes me sigh, cringe, and dread the work ahead of me. Now there can be several reasons for that. One, people can be difficult to work with, especially if they don’t understand why they really need you (and many writers these days don’t). Two, I know that editing a book in particular is a huge time commitment, and I probably won’t be getting paid enough (mostly my fault, but again, writers won’t pay for value they don’t initially see). Three, I feel like it distracts me from things I really want to do. And I think that’s a big one there. Ask yourself, What would I rather be doing? If you don’t know, don’t quit your day job just yet. And try to think of what it might be besides leisure/recreational activities. For example, I’d rather be writing and working on my own projects than fixing someone else’s. But I think that’s a pretty big red flag there.
Now, we can’t always listen to our hearts, because they will lie to us. And sometimes we have a hard time seeing just how blessed we are, and we need to learn to be content with the amazing things we have and the places we have been put in life. And we all have to go through seasons in life where we do things that maybe we don’t really want to do, but it’s where we need to be for the time being. However, it’s an avenue to explore.
If you don’t want to be doing what you’re currently doing, then what would you rather be doing? Where is your drive? What do you want to change? Do you feel like you were made to do something else, but you just don’t know what yet? Is there someone or a people group you feel a pull to help? Never mind if you think you’re unskilled or unequipped. If you can’t get someone/something off your mind, maybe there’s more to it than that. Maybe you won’t become famous. Maybe you won’t become a millionaire. But maybe you’ll find your calling, which is infinitely more satisfying than doing what you hate while making that big paycheck every week.
So play with that for a little bit. This isn’t a comprehensive guide to finding your niche, because, frankly, there are so many ways to do that. As different as we and our passions are, that’s how different the paths are to our personal success. Sometimes you can think about something for years, but the moment of insight will hit you when you least expect it, and perhaps after you’ve already given up on finding your “thing”. Don’t try to force it, but do be open to new possibilities, in all fields. Because sometimes you have to wade through the muck to get to paradise. Sometimes you’ll find what you love after trying out the thing you hate. Sometimes you have to juggle both at the same time. Experiment, play with it, pray about it, and keep an open mind and a ready heart. And have fun!! 🙂
As a side note: I know a lot of people look at things the opposite way, or at least a different way. “Don’t follow your passion”, and all that jazz. However, if you used a different word, I think you would find the concepts to be very much the same. And I wholly agree with the advice to see where you can make a difference. Find that group of people you so desire to help. There are so many ways to find your love, your career, your calling — whatever you want to call it, it’s going to drive you. If it wears you out (in a bad, life-sucking way) or you dread doing it, it’s not your thing.
Check out these links for different takes on finding your passion/calling:
- To find work you love, don’t follow your passion – Benjamin Todd – TEDxYouth@Tallinn
- Stop searching for your passion – Terri Trespicio – TEDxKC
- How to know your life purpose in 5 minutes – Adam Leipzig – TEDxMalibu
- Am I in God’s Will? 5-Part Strategy for Christians Questioning Their Calling
- Could Disappointment be Good for You?
One final side note: Yes, I said I’m an editor (which I’m sure opens a can), but I do make mistakes, and it’s much easier to miss mistakes on my own projects than on other people’s (especially if I’m writing late at night….–cough–). So you may find mistakes. Feel free to tell me about them so I can fix them! And you may say, “Hey, she’s not following such-and-such grammar rule!” One thing about having command of the written English language is that you can make stylistic choices and play with words. So I will shamelessly use prepositions at the ends of my sentences….in.
Beautiful, Fearless You 